the new adventures of the same amanda

i only have enough energy to tell you this

2010-07-09T16:08:00.000-07:00

thank god it's the weekend.

THANK GOD

it seems like everyone is doing something lately

2010-07-01T17:10:00.000-07:00

i am in some kind of a rut. this last semester of graduate school was intense for me and i slow saw my emotional well being diminish. i wasn't happy.

i thought that once school ended and i graduated that i would miraculously feel better. and while i have been much more like "usual" self lately, i'm not where i want to be.

in turn, i have decided to make some goals for this month. because i really think we all need to strive for something and make ourself better. but mostly because i just can't handle my current self right now and need to make a change.

so here you have it, my goals for july 2010:

become vegetarian
become mostly non-diary
exercise 5 days a week (preferably in the AM) (and seriously attempt to participate in Weigh in Wednesdays
go to bed before 11pm
fix hair 3x/week (this sounds so stupid but i have been giving up blowing drying my hair and just pulling it back into a ponytail in order for a few extra minutes of sleep in the morning)
spend at least 1 night a week with college girlfriends
write snail mail to friends overseas
decrease coffee intake to AM only
decrease pop intake completely
say at least 1 positive self statement each day (and believe it)
pay bills in full
pay tithe
put 20% of each paycheck in savings
cooks dinners for the bf and i 2x/week

i don't expect to complete every single one of these goals, but i sure am going to try.....for my sanity.

sigh

2010-06-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

growing up i don't really remember i time where i was ever concerned about my weight. i've always been one of those fortunate girls who could put in minimal effort in physical activity and pound down candy and be happy with herself. i attribute this to being tall (5'8) and coming from good genes.

the first time i can actually remember thinking that i was fat was my junior year of high school. i had gone away to a boarding school about 2 hours from my house and for one reason or another i ballooned up like nobody's business (gaining 20 lbs!) and was at my all time highest,.....150. (something i've never told anyone up until now because i am way to ashamed for every letting myself do that.) at the end of the school year i came home for the summer and it just kind of came off on it's own. when i arrived at school that fall i weighted myself and i was 134 lbs, a place i was comfortable with.

senior year was a weird year for me, and mixed with my unhappiness and boredom i became obsessed with my weight. i stopped going to supper, woke up at 5am to do tae bo with my friend and spent the evening recreation time walking the indoor track at my schools gym. after a case of what i think was mono where i slept and didn't eat for 2 days, i was at my lowest ever.....122 lbs. it's funny though, i can't recall myself thinking i looked good.

between freshman and sophomore years of college i hovered around the 130 mark. i went to the gym every day after work and i tried to limit my food consumption after 6pm. i fluctuated between 130-135 lbs up until 2007.

the fall of 2007 i moved to london for a year to get away from school and do something good. to say the first week or two were rough would be an understatement. long story short, i stayed in my room and didn't eat or do much of anything but cry and got myself under 130 again. eventually i got into the swing of things over there and by the time i came home i was hovering between 140-145 lbs. i wasn't happy with myself, but i wasn't motivated to do anything about it. i was so busy traveling around europe eating fast food and carbs.

after a year i came home and finished my senior year of college, this being the fall of 2008. during that year i hovered around 140 lbs. i started going back to the gym with friends, but i couldn't get my eating under control. i was coming home late, therefore eating supper late. i was also going out to eat...ALOT.

my routine consisted of working out and eating right sunday-wednesday, something would trigger and then i would either be to tired to workout thursday or i would eat something that wasn't healthy, therefore ruining the hard work i had put in that week. that mentality would therefore make me say, "oh, i'll just start over again on sunday" causing me to not workout the rest of the week and eat whatever bad stuff i could get my hands on, thinking i would be able to eat it ever again after sunday. this would continue week after week after week.

which brings us up to date. i'm hovering way to close to be junior year of high school days. so close that i've stopped weighing myself because all i want to do is cry. i'm not really sure how i got here. well, i do know how i let myself get here. i just don't know why.

i do know that i'm sick of feeling like this and i'm sick of listening to myself complain. i feel my best when i'm between 130-135 lbs. a place that seems impossible right now. so i know this is going to take a lot of work. i want to start running again. a few weeks ago i went to visit my friend in chicago for a few nights and one morning we woke up early and went running on a trail along lake michigan. it felt so good i can't even describe it to you. the sun was shining and all the other hard core runners and bikers were out and although it wasn't as easy for me as it used to be it got me excited to start working out consistently again.

so here's the deal. i've been doing a lot of research and i've decided that i'm going to stick to 3 healthy meals a day along with 2 healthy snacks of fruit and protein. i want to incorporate more fresh foods and vegetables into my diet. i want to do low fat/low carb, but i will allow for some brown rice and nuts and beans too. i don't want to do anything to crazy, because i know that i won't stick to it. i want to start running again and doing strength training. i've developed my own routine consisting of a little p90x/insanity, running and yoga.

i'll also be weighing in every wednesday (actually i prefer to weigh on sunday) along side some other bloggers as well. so be sure to check that out. (i'll be linking more as i find them, too.)

it is far past my bedtime now and i have to get up early to workout and be ready and on time when i go to my new job! (holla!) more on that tomorrow!

the one where i get the award for worst girlfriend EVER

2010-02-18T12:59:00.000-08:00

this is so insanely horrendous that i'm almost to embarrassed to write this. but it's also so insanely hilarious that i couldn't not post it.

i had just come back from lunch with the bf. i was getting some tea and preparing myself for my next client when i here the secretary calling me to the desk saying something about a special delivery for me.

and i'm all, "special delivery...whhaaaa?"

and i arrive to see a bucket of flowers, a bear and a card. i open to find...

__________________________________________

to the best girlfriend EVER!!!

i'm not gonna lie, i don't know the exact day but i know it's our anniversary week!! so happy anniversary week. i'm so fortunate to have you in my life.

love,
the bf

__________________________________________

cue me standing in the front office all confused like. and then of course everyone in the office, clients included, wanted to know who they were from and why i got them. and i'm all "the bf?? it's our anniversary??"

now. before you start thinking that i really am the world's worst girlfriend, let me give you some background information.

for those keeping score, the bf and i first starting talking and hanging november 2008. the more we hung out the more we started acting like boyfriend and girlfriend. i'm not one to ever initiate having that "are we boyfriend/girlfriend?, does he like me or is this a friends with benefits type of situation?" talk with boys that i like. in fact, i hate having that conversation. i guess he felt the same way, because he never brought it up either.

i was comfortable with how things were going so i never felt like i had to ask him about our label. he had done so many other things for me up until this point that i knew he cared about me a lot. and we had been spending so much time together that i knew he wasn't seeing anyone else.

after getting some beef from a friend of mine (who had just finished reading "he's just not that into at the time) who kept asking me about our label situation and saying that he's not asking me to be his girlfriend because he's JUST THAT THAT INTO YOU! i got really insecure and upset.

so, true to form, i took my crazy ass self over to his house and demanded to know if i could be called his girlfriend. his response?

"i thought you already were?"

and that was the end of that conversation. i guess i should have paid more attention to that date, because that's now my official anniversary. i was always under the impression that our anniversary was around november and i swear i've had talks with him about that. but mostly i tell people we officially began dating in january because that's when we first kissed and started really acting like boyfriend and girlfriend.

needless to say, we both had a good laugh about this whole thing. thankfully he understands our situation and wasn't upset or anything. however, i do feel bad (because who doesn't know when their anniversary is!!??!) and promised to make it up to him with whatever he wants.

and to end, some texts between the bf and i right after i received his gift -

me: did you just send flowers to my office?
the bf: maybe. is there a card?
me: yes. but i'm a little confused?
the bf: ok, isn't it our one year of dating?
the bf: or did i think of a wrong girlfriend. haha
me: .....
me: not funny.
the bf: i'm kidding of course!

noooooooo

2010-01-30T14:51:00.000-08:00

the bf left to go to LA for business this morning which means i get to be on puppy duty this week.

currently we are snuggling on the couch watching the king of queens, playing the sims, and texting the bf as he soars over arkansas. i'm not sure how he's allowed to text from the sky but he assures me that it's safe.

i have given strict instructions to find the kardashian sisters and bring me back an autograph picture, eat at one of guy fieri's restaurants and get a picture with him, skype from the hollywood sign, among others. and he has given strict orders to scratch puppy's chin first thing in the morning, give her hugs everyday, exercise her and many many other ridiculous things relating to the dog that i wish i could tell you he was joking about. when i say that i'm pretty sure he loves his dog more than me i'm NOT exaggerating.

as for now..., puppy and i are going to enjoy our lazinessness, guacamole with homemade tortilla chips and recorded old school episodes of the hills.

because everyone is doing it (and so should you!)*

2010-01-21T12:22:00.001-08:00

*also, WHY THE HELL IS IT STILL TILTED!

Where in the World Wednesday

2010-01-20T07:20:00.001-08:00

I forgot to post last week, oops. Here is my second attempt at WITWW.

"The idea of WITWW is to post a picture of you in someplace in the world...it doesn't have to be somewhere foreign or tropical. Just a picture of you somewhere that you consider traveling."

Below is a picture of the Grand Canyon. The summer before I turned 21 my family and I went on a family vacation to Las Vegas (for figure, right? and before I was 21!). One day we rented a car and drove the 4 hours to the Grand Canyon. It was so hot out I could barely breathe. Looking back, why the heck would anyone want to go to Arizona and Nevada in July? But we did. It was so hot we probably spent about half an hour walking around the Grand Canyon and then left. I also remember being in complete awe. The Grand Canyon didn't look real even though I was standing right in front of it. If you haven't ever been there, I suggest you go. NOW. We then drove the 4 hours back, stopped at the Hoover Dam (which is also quite surreal, and scary...) and headed back to the strip. What a strange week...

what in the world?

2010-01-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

i had the strangest dream the other night. not only was it the strangest dream, but it left me terrified! i woke up around 4:30am scared out of my mind and then i wouldn't allow myself to go back to sleep out of shear fear.

i remember being at some guy's house with two of my best friends. this guy looked identical to the bf, although i remember very vividly that he wasn't my boyfriend. and, just like the bf, he was a foreigner. strange?

anyways, the three of us our hanging out with this man's house. i can't recall how any of us knew him or why we were there to begin with. actually now that i think about it i don't even remember what we were doing at his house. all i can really remember is that i started to hold his hand and i was trying to make out with him. i remember knowing that what i was doing was completely wrong but i didn't even care. afterwards my friends came up to me and told me that they had told the bf what i had done.

this is where things get real bizarre.

i was panicking and i knew that i had to get home to talk to the bf. remember those things you used to play with in gym in elementary school? i don't remember what they were called but they were a little square, only big enough for your to sit crosslegged on and they had four wheels on the bottom and you could scoot yourself all over the gym or having people push you? anyone??

well, that little thing was my transportation home! i had to scoot myself down the road to get him so that i could talk to the bf! it's dark by this time and i see headlights coming down the behind me so i hurry to make the driveway before the car reaches me. as i'm almost to the garage i notice that there is an someone sticking their arm out the window with a gun about to shoot me as they drive by. terrified i drop to the ground and i see the bullet fly over me. i try screaming for someone to help me but i don't have a voice. the car is now pulled over and i try to run to the door dodging bullets.

that's when i woke up in a sheer panic! i was sweating, i was scared and i wanted to cry. i still had a good three hours left to sleep but i wouldn't allow myself to fall back asleep out of fear that i would either die or definitely lose the bf. neither of which i want to happen.

of course i told the bf about the dream in the morning and he thought it was both hilarious and totally ridiculous. i tried to ask him what he thought it might but he offered no good insights.

i don't know why this stupid dream affected me so much. i don't buy into all that hoopla about dream reading and blah blah, but a few days later and i'm still thinking about it....

thoughts??

oh won't you be my (blog) valentine?

2010-01-07T14:55:00.000-08:00

Ashley over at Ashalah started this Be my (blog) Valentine last year and while I was meaning to be a part of it, I just never did. So when I saw that she was bringing it back I knew that I had to be a part of it this year.

What is a Be my (blog) Valentine?

"Well, it’s sort of like Secret Santa. I randomly match up everyone participating with another blogger, you won’t know who has you, and your valentine won’t know you have them. You can send your valentine whatever you would like–a gift card, baked goods, a little carepackage (I got nail polish, lip balm and window stickers from my blog valentine, Maxie!)…whatever you feel your valentine would like. I’d advise taking the time, if you don’t already know your valentine, to look around their blog. You can always find inspiration there."

You have until January 19th to sign up so I suggest that you head over and participate now!

Where in the World Wednesday

2010-01-06T04:17:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday and something new I'm doing is Classy in Philadelphia's Where in the World Wednesday.

The idea of WITWW is to post a picture of you in someplace in the world...it doesn't have to be somewhere foreign or tropical. Just a picture of you somewhere that you consider traveling.

If you decide to participate, make sure to post it and then post your link in the comments so I and everyone else can check yours out! This is a great way to bring the 20sb community even closer,so be sure to click the links of other participants to find great new blogs to read.

This picture is of Cozumel, Mexico where I spent a week with friends in March. That was my friend's hut on the side there, right in front of the beach. Unfortunately, my hut was way on the opposite side of the resort. I want to go back so badly!

ache

2010-01-04T18:28:00.000-08:00

I'm so sore it hurts to lay here in my bed. Seriously. I tried to get up at 7am to work out this morning and it could barely roll myself over to turn off my alarm. I opted to sleep in (since I didn't have class til 10:30am) and work out at the gym in the evening.

Food wise? I had some fruit this morning along with my usual coffee. I also packed an orange for a snack but I left my snack bag in my car by accident and it was far to cold and snowy to go get it between classes. I had a delicious salad for lunch with kidney and garbanzo beans. I also packed some left over tomato soup for supper but that was also in my snack bag in the car. So instead I got a cheese stick and a big bowl of fruit. I came home after the gym and had half a grapefruit and a chocolate chip cookie, hehehehe. I know I probably should be eating more than this but I honestly wasn't that hungry today. I'm kind of hating myself for eating that cookie, but I keep reassuring myself that one cookie isn't going to kill me.

I did end up going to the gym after my last class and I ran on the tredmill for 40 minutes and sat in the sauna before going home.

Today was my first day back to school (for my last semester for graduate school, HOLLA!) and it went really well. They had a two hour delay due to snow but when your first class doesn't start until 10:30am it doesn't really effect you. I'm happy to report that this semester is going to be MUCH easier than last semester. Which I'm so thankful for. Last semester kicked my ass (and I kicked it right back, all A's WHAT! But for real, I don't wish taking 15 credits on my worst enemy...) and it's nice to end my time there on an easy note. I have no tests in any class. Just a few papers and presentations and some therapy role playing projects. Nothing I can't handle.

That's all I have to report today, I'm exhausted and sore. And just to prove that it's been snowing like mad in my neck of the woods, I leave you with this:

and so it begins

2010-01-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

I've struggled with body image, weight and food for a while. Not in the way that I've ever been overweight, but more in the way that I constantly think about it. I'm always thinking I'm going to get fat if I eat this or that, I'm immediately regretting my McDonald's lunch choice as soon as I'm done eating it and I'm getting mad at myself for being to lazy to go to the gym.

I don't like many breakfast foods which generally has me either skipping it completely or just kicking back coffees all morning until lunch. Both equally unhealthy. The bf and I go out to eat a lot. And my whole mentality (as twisted as it is) is that if I'm going to pay for my food I better enjoy it. Which doesn't equal good food choices. Also, I don't usually get home til later on in the evening/night so if we didn't go out to eat that night I will get when I get home. Which consists of snacky foods because I'm far to lazy to make anything at the end of the day.

I say this all to say that right now, currently? I'm the heaviest I've ever been. Am I overweight? Of course not. Actually, wii fit tells me I'm at a "normal" weight and BMI (although he also told me I had gained 8 pounds). I feel totally uncomfortable. I don't want to wear regular clothes and it's even gotten so bad that I don't really want the bf to touch me. I know I'm over exaggerating and being ridiculous but I just feel gross. It didn't help that over break I ate my body weight in cookies and over baked goods and that I haven't been to the gym since Thanksgiving.

The other day I got sick of myself complaining about my current body state and I started thinking about how I'm going to go about changing this. Spring break is right around the corner and I will not be anywhere near a bikini if change doesn't take place. I actually like exercising, I look forward to my workouts. I've seen how I feel when I eat right and I know what it's like to be healthy. It's just getting to that point that is the problem.

So I picked a program, mapped out a routine for the week and started concocting menu ideas that are filling as well as healthy.

This morning, I did Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. It's only 20 minutes and it's mostly strength so I like to do another form of cardio to blast that fat. So I went to the gym and ran on the thredmil for 30 minutes. I also get a lot of stretching and some glute moves and ended my time in the sauna. I was exhausted but I felt really good and I'm excited to go back tomorrow.

I'm also trying to eat more fresh, natural foods instead of my normal processed, fasted foods. I made some really delicious tomato soup today that consists of 3 lbs roasted fresh tomatoes, a couple of cans of tomatoes, an onion, garlic and fresh herbs. In fact, the only source of fat was the chicken stock (which wasn't bad anyways) and some olive oil I sauteed the onions and garlic in. It's pretty hearty too because of the chunky tomatoes. I'm planning on bringing that for my lunches this week. I also bought some salad mix, fresh vegetables and low fat stir fry sauce. I was messing around with my juicer today too and made the worst juice you could ever drink. It consisted of romaine lettuce, two carrots, one cucumber and a handful of cherry tomatoes. UGH, never again will I make that. But I did get some vegetables in, I guess?

I feel pretty good today and proud that I exercised and ate well. Let's just hope this lasts.....

2009 Year in Review

2009-12-31T13:19:00.000-08:00

It seems so weird to me that it's New Year's Eve and tomorrow it's going to be 2010. I know I haven't updated in a while so I thought I'd do a special "Year in Review" post for today. I don't remember every single thing that happened in each month but I'll do my best to remember all the highlights. 2009 was definitely one of my best years.

January -
A year ago today I was in downtown Chicago with my (not then) boyfriend, his brother's and a few friends from college. It was also the first time that the bf and I kissed. Not at midnight, thankfully (although we did kiss at midnight), it was a few hours earlier that day. We were still in our awkward, beginning relationship phase, but it was definitely a fun night. I also started my last semester as an undergraduate student!

February -
I was anxious for Valentine's Day to arrive because I wasn't sure where I stood with the bf. Was he looking for me to be his girlfriend? Was I just a friend who he occasionally kissed? I didn't know! And I'm sure I annoyed the hell out of my friends with my CONSTANT over analyzing. The bf and I hadn't made any plans for Valentine's Day, actually, I don't think we even mentioned it to each other. He eventually told me that we were going to go visit his brother in Chicago for the long President's/Valentine's Day weekend. I thought ok, but wasn't banking on it being romantic or anything like that. I ended up making him red velvet cupcakes and bringing them to his house before we left. I guess I made the corner to fast and ended up sending the cupcakes flyging and ruining all of them. I was more than bummed. Anyways, I thought we were heading to his brother's house and he ended up surprising me and had gotten a hotel downtown Chicago for us instead. We ended up walking downtown, going to eat at Ditka's, and spending Valentine's night at a cute little wine bar that I can't remember the name. They even had Spanish guitar players and flamenco dancers.

March -
I spent a week with some of my best friends at an all inclusive resort in Cozumel, Mexico. It was amazing. I did nothing but sit by the pool all day long and eat nachos and chips and salsa. My roommate and I would be so tired by the end of the day that we'd be asleep by 9pm. Much to the annoyance of some of our other friends who wanted us to go out with them in the evenings.

April -
April drop the last month of my undergraduate experience. It was also my brother's 18th birthday and the first time the bf officially met my parents (and the rest of my over sized family) at his joint birthday party with my cousin. Thankfully it went well. The next day my dad's side of the family had an Easter gathering where all of us cousin's had an easter egg hunt like we did when we were little children. Except now we're all in college. Let's just say it was HILARIOUS.

May -
I graduated with my BSW on the 3rd. I also started the oh so fun job search for the summer. I clearly didn't put as much effort as I needed to because I didn't end up getting anything so I instead spent the summer dicking. Which I was totally fine with :). The bf also graduated graduate school with his MBA and and got hired as a full time employee at a place he had been working at during his college experience. I got him a massive grill he had wanted for a while as a present and he got me my Nokia phone.

June -
The bf turned 26 that month. I bought him a birthday cake that had his name on it with balloons (he's not a fan of box cakes unfortunately). We ate cake, and then that night we went out to a really nice sushi (the bf's favorite food,....unfortunately) restaurant and then went to see a movie. It was a pretty low key day. I got him a really nice dark wood box that was engraved with his initials and inside were matching silver and black leather bond flask with his initials, cigar holder, mini flask, lighter with his initials and cigar cutter. The bf got himself a little birthday present and bought an 8 week old german shepherd puppy

July -
I don't remember a whole lot from this month, it must have been slow. I do remember that for the 4th we went to the bf's brother's house for the weekend. We took the puppy for a walk and looked at all the fancy apartments and walked the Boston symphony fireworks on the television.

August -
This month brought the end of the summer and the start of graduate school. I also got the internship that I had been waiting to hear from and started at the end of the month.

September -
Labor Day weekend the bf, his brother's, their girlfriends/wives and a few friends went camping.....behind the bf's brother's massive house. We waited to long to make reservations at regular campsites and ended not finding a place that had availability. So we said screw it and set up tent's in the backyard. It ended up being extremely hot that weekend so it was nice to be able to go inside and be in the air conditioning. And to have TV, hehe.

October -
I turned 24 this month. My birthday fell on a Thursday which happened to be my super long day at internship so I was a little less than excited. However, my bf actually set me flowers to my office which was a huge surprise and something that no guy had ever done for me before. We ate lunch together and I went to his house that night. He had gotten my favorite pizza and made me my favorite cake. Two cakes actually. I love that boxed white cake with the confetti chips in it with the matching frosting. He made two cakes and had one with the white sprinkle frosting and one with the chocolate sprinkle frosting. I loved it. And then we watched The Office.

November -
The semester had been pretty rough for me so I was really looking forward to Thanksgiving break. It was also the first Thanksgiving that I would be bringing a boyfriend with me. So I was excited.....and extremely nervous. My parents had gone down to Chicago the day before and my brother and the bf went first thing Thanksgiving Day. It went well. It was a crazy house and everyone ate way to much. The bf and I left that evening and went to his brother's house to stay the night. We got up early the next day and headed downtown to do some shopping.

December -
This month has been crazy. I finished my first semester for graduate school and all A's!!! I was so ecstatic when I looked online to see what my grades were. I have one semester left and I'm feeling really good about finishing up. This past semester was really rough and I'm not taking as many classes so I know I'll be fine. Christmas was really good and I ended up with a lot of loot. I got a new Sonicare Toothbrush, over $3oo, more candy than I know what to do with, socks, a sweater dress, a new mini compter (from the bf!!!!!!), Super Mario Brother's for wii, and concert tickets to the Black Eyed Peas. Yeah, I did real well. The bf and I headed up to his dad's house in for a long Christmas weekend. It was really fun and nice to get away and relax. We were supposed to head out west to spend New Year's with some friends but we decided to just come back and spend New Year's here. After being away for so long we were kind of ready to come home and have a low key night. Per the bf's request, I'm making a steak dinner with a mushroom cream sauce, macaroni and cheese and roasted garlic mashed potatoes. I'll update on how that goes....hehe.

So like I said, 2009 was a really good year. Especially considering the mess 2008 was. Here's to hoping 2010 is the best ever! I hope everyone has a safe and great night!

the day from hell: school edition and this stupid challenge that i've already failed miserably at

2009-12-07T15:13:00.000-08:00

I'm so exhausted right it hurts to think. Today was one of the worse days on my whole entire existence. Otherwise known as finals week. Or day. Because apparently it's appropriate to schedule MSW finals all of the same day. As well as all of our end of semester projects and papers.

I studied all day long yesterday. I didn't stop studying until after 1:30 am and then I woke back up again at 5:45 am to study more. I gave a presentation this morning and turned in a research paper at 9:30 am. I had a 14 page final my brain hurt. Then I had another final that made me cry as soon as I walked out of the room.

I've never tried so hard in my life as I have this semester and all I wanted to accomplish was to get a 4.0. I actually thought I stood a chance. Until today.

I feel so incompetent and helpless. And I hate it. I'm mad that I didn't study more, but I couldn't fit anymore information in my brain.

All I want to do is cuddle in my bed and sleep this day away.

But I still have to post today's Best of 2009 Challenge. I totally forgot to do Friday and Saturday's entries. Don't care. Today's entry is "Blog Find of the Year: That gem of a blog you can't believe you didn't know about until this year."

Easy. City Girl's Blog. Witty, smart, entertaining, not to mention some of the best advice ever. Seriously. Go, read. Thank me tomorrow.

Day 4: Best Book

2009-12-04T19:23:00.001-08:00

I just barely remembered that I hadn't posted my entry for today's Best of 2009 Challenge.

"What book - fiction or non - touched you? Where were you when you read it? Have you bought and given away multiple copies?"

I'll keep it short, because just like yesterday's, I don't really have much to say on this topic. I enjoy reading, I really do. But between reading for school, studying, working, internship and everything else I do I just don't really remember to sit and read a book. It's bad really, because I have a stack of about 8 books that I've been meaning to read since March.

So I'm sitting in my bed and I'm trying to actually remember what books I've read this year for fun and all I can come up with is the Twilight Saga and The Pursuit of Happyness. How sad is that? Actually, I remember my brother buying my Breaking Dawn at this exact same time last year.

Anyways, I've decided that it's pretty shameful that I haven't read any decent pieces of work this year and I'm hellbent on changing that this next year. In order to make that happen I'm proposing for one of my New Year's Resolutions that at the beginning of each month I set a goal to read a certain amount of books and then at the end of that month I'll do a book review of sorts.

Good idea, no?

Have a good weekend!

Day 3: What did I get myself into?

2009-12-03T17:35:00.001-08:00

Today's post for the Best of 2009 Challenge is "What's an article that you read that blew you away? That you shared with all your friends. That you Delicious'd and reference throughout the year."

Really? I've been thinking about this one since I saw it two days ago and I still got nothing! I'm not much into the reading, unless you count celebrity gossip magazines and the occasional Cosmopolitan. Which, as you can probably tell, don't have the most fascinating reads.

I don't really want to pick anything from any of those magazines because who really cares about why Tiger cheated on his gorgeous wife with a girl from VH1's Tool Academy of all people or public places you've gotten caught doing the dirty?

(Although I'm very interested in all those things, no judgement.)

So, I'm going to tweak this little prompt here so that I can actually have something to post for it. Instead, I will be posting about my favorite magazine of this year and why.

This won't come to any surprise to those you know me in real life, but the magazine that I've discovered this year that I have to buy every month (serious, why don't I just got a subscription for crying out loud?) is Food Network Magazine.

(See, no surprise there...)

My favorite issue to date is definitely this months holiday issue. I've found myself with a whole lot of people that I want to do something nice for this holiday season, but I just simply can't afford to buy gifts of appreciation for everyone.

(Especially since I went a little bit overboard with the bf's present. And by a little bit I clearly mean A TON.)

The issue this month is full of cute little gifts to give people that are meaningful and not that expensive, especially if you already have a few of the pieces. One of my favorite gift ideas for bosses and co-workers are little jars that you by and layer with different ingredients depending on what food item you are giving them. The one I'm thinking about doing for people is the chunking chocolate chip christmas cookies. First you fill the jar with the dry ingredients like the flour, baking powder and sugar. Next you layer in cocoa powder, and then red and green M&M's, then white chocolate chips, then crushed cashews, then chocolate chunks, and then finally toasted coconut. The end result is a jar nicely layered with all of these goodies. Other things you can make are curried lentil soup, blue cornbread with pineapple, holiday panettone and spiced hot cocoa.

They also have an insert for 50 different holiday cookie recipes which I can not wait to try. There are a few recipes that I've already dog ears so that I remember to make them soon.

Anyways, back to the magazine. I know it makes me sound super nerdy and all "Susie Homemaker" but I can't help it. I can sit a flip through the recipes or search online for recipes or watch the channel all day long.

(Side note: We were having a discussion in my mental disorders class about eating disorders and I warning sign is that the individual is so obsessed with food that they only watch or read food related things. YIKES!)

Anyways, if you are looking for some good holiday recipes or cute food related holiday gifts I highly suggest that you pick up this issue!

Day Two

2009-12-02T15:20:00.000-08:00

Today's post for the Best of 2009 Challenge is Best Restaurant Experience. "Share the best restaurant experience you had this year. Who was there? What made it amazing? What taste stands out in your mind?"

I had to think about this for a while because the bf and I go out to eat a lot, and it's hard to pick just one experience that was great. I guess the first place that stands out in my mind is this little wine bar we went to in Chicago for Valentine's Day this year. The atmosphere was perfect for the holiday, not to cheesy but still romantic. The lights were low and I think there were candles on the tables. It was a cozy little place with couches and high tables. It was not as packed as you would think a cute little wine bar would be on the weekend of Valentine's Day, which I liked.

I can't say that we actually got any food there. We had met up with the bf's brother beforehand to eat at another restaurant downtown. We just had a few drinks and some desserty type things to share.

I think the thing I liked about this place was the live music. I think they had brought in a Flemanco dancer and a small Spanish band to play their guitars. It was really nice and fit the setting perfectly.

I don't know why this particular place stands out in my mind, maybe it was because this was the first Valentine's Day where my boyfriend actually planned something special and took me somewhere for the weekend.

(Wait....is that sad?)

Either way, it was a good weekend :)

Day One

2009-12-01T19:19:00.001-08:00

I guess there is this little challenge going around the interweb about the the best of 2009 and what better way to jump start this blog than to participate??!

Today topic today was on the best trip of 2009. This is pretty easy. I spent spring break this past March in Mexico and that clearly takes the cake over various trips to Chicago and Wisconsin. (Although all of those were pretty darn fantastic as well.)

I went with a group of friends and spent a fabulous week sitting by the pool, sipping fruity drinks, eating way to much cheese and mexican food in general (seriously, all inclusive resorts are not good for my body image), doing aqua aerobics, avoiding the ocean like it's my job, eating more, watching old school Beverly Hills 90210, and catching on much needed girlie time.

My friend and I would be so exhausted by the evening that we would fall asleep watching tv at like 8pm. Much to the dismay and frustration of our other friends.

It was fabulous and I want to go back. I miss being so tan....

oh yeah, i do have a blog

2009-12-01T18:38:00.000-08:00

Hello friends. It's been a while. I know. I've been kind of hating this blog. For many reasons. So I decided to do something about it. I changed a few things and revamped some old posts. Nothing your going to notice I'm sure. But it makes me feel a little better.

Anyways, the point of this post....

Last weekend was Thanksgiving. And I want to discuss the events of my weekend as well as list out a few things that I'm very, very thankful for. A little late? Yes, but go with me.

Thanksgiving is kind of a big deal in my family. For as long as I can remember I've always gone to my grandparents house in Chicago and spend the day with my mom's side of the family. Then my mom, aunt and myself would wake up at some god awful hour of the morning on friday and go shopping.

This year was no different. Except I brought my boyfriend. This is a big deal for me people, I've NEVER brought a boyfriend to Thanksgiving before, let alone a family function. I've never really wanted to bring a boyfriend before. Not for fear that my family would embarrass me and he would be traumatized. Nope, I was afraid of my boyfriend embarrassing my family. The bf and I woke up Thursday morning and set out for Chicago. We got there around noonish and just kind of hang around watching tv until dinner. We stayed for a few more hours after dinner until we drove downtown where we stayed the rest of the weekend. It was a success. He survived a day with my crazy grandpa, 5 children under the age of 7, yappy dogs running a muck, my loud cousins and the general ridiculousness that is my mother's side. He helps that he's from Eastern Europe as well.

Also, can I please talk about how I'm positive I have the best boyfriend in the world? I'm thankful that he calls me out when I'm bring absolutely ridiculous, I'm thankful that he cooks me food the majority of the time, I'm thankful that he tivos 90210 for me and then watches it with me even though he absolutely hates it. I'm thankful that he fills up my gas tank without telling me. And when he kisses me goodnight, or when we're sitting on the couch. I'm thankful that even when my cooking endeavors don't always work out, he still eats it. I'm thankful that he fixes my computer when it breaks and helps me make posters and presentations because I'm completely useless with technology. I'm thankful he downloads silly movies and music I want and got Netflix so he can introduce me to shows like "Worst Week" because he knows me so well.

And about fifty thousand more reasons but I'm sure you guys are beyond nauseous now.

Pretty much it was a fabulous weekend. And now that it's December I am so excited for Christmas. Get this? The bf and I are road tripping it. We're taking my dad's suburban and hitting up Wisconsin for Christmas weekend and then heading west to Nebraska for New Years. And then back to the Midwest to start my last semester of graduate school!

I really want to get this blog back on track and I'm going to try to post more often and comment more on your blogs!

Hope all your weekends were spectacular!

victory is mine

2009-09-10T07:18:00.000-07:00

since i am not one to ever not brag when i'm right, i am going to share with you a little story that happened the other night....

this past weekend the bf and i went camping with some friends. and as we were sitting around the campfire eating hotdogs i turned to the bf and asked him if he remembered when he first kissed me. (i'm not sure when i felt the need to ask him this as we were clearly not talking about it at all, but go with it) to my utter surprise he respond with new years, which happens to be correct. so i decided to test him further.

"ok smarty pants! when was our first date?!"

to which he replied september 9th.

wtf?

if any of you know me in real life or remember from my previous blog then you clearly remember that the ex and i didn't break up until the end of october of last year.

so i begin to explain this to the bf that no, i had know idea who you were in september and that the first time you had talked to me was on facebook chat (ahahahaha) the first weekend in november.

you see, my brother and i decided to go see madagascar 2 the afternoon it came out. i had to school that day so naturally i wasn't showered or anything and just wore yoga pants and a hoodie to the theater. i mean, really? who was i going to see?

so i had to go to the bathroom during the middle of the movie and quickly left the theater. as i rounded the corner i (literally) run into my boss, the bf (who wasn't the bf at the time) and his boss with a look of complete horror on their faces. i remember thinking that they seemed really weird when i had seen them but shook it off to the fact that i closely resembled a homeless person and went back to my movie.

that night i went to a friday night program at my school with a friend and met my boss there. she proceeded to ask me if i had ever considered dating the bf. i responded that i didn't know him but i was open to the possibility of getting to know him. (i had just broken up with the ex a mere two weeks prior mind you) (mind you? am i in england again or something?)

ANYWAYS

she then explains to me that the reason they were acting so weird at the theater was because they had just been talking about me, telling the bf that he should get to know me and blah blah. so they were a little surprised that i had just come around the corner as they were talking about that.

so i go home that night and it's around midnight. for whatever reason i had decided to get on facebook and lurk. and about 2 seconds after i logged in i get a chat message from the bf. i was kind of embarrassed because i wasn't sure if my boss has mentioned anything to him about what we had talked about that night. we ended up talking for a while that night.

the next week we went to a movie with some mutual friends. the movie was HORRIBLE and we ended up walking out and going to get some food. and the next few days after that we ended up going to see the latest bond movie at midnight with some friends again. and then the friday after the movie we went to get some coffee because we were so tired from the previous night.

which would have our first date alone.

so back to this argument. the bf swears that our first date was in september and that he has his credit card bills to prove when we went to eat and when we went and saw that first movie.

in the meantime i'm trying my best to convince him that the first time he talked to me online was the first weekend in november because this particular evening program only happens during the first friday of the month.

so he goes, "AH HA! i have the statement. it says september 13th! and that is the only time i've been to that theater, BOO YA!"

so i take a look.

it says 11/13/08.

let the countdown begin!

2009-09-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned last night, I have a very important announcement to make this morning. And I do (although most of you will not find it as relevant as me, but I don't care.), so let's begin!

Does anyone know what today is?

Why, it's September 8th.

And does anyone know what that means??

Well, it means that my birthday is in exactly one month!

And in true fashion today marks the beginning of the official countdown until I turn 24 years old!

cooking up a storm

2009-09-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

I know I've mentioned my cooking abilities before and I've been meaning to post about all the goodies I've been making these past few weeks. But....I haven't. Mostly because I forgot to take pictures while I was preparing my meals.

This past week I went camping with a group of friends and was deemed in charge of making kebobs. I've never made kabobs in my existence so I was a little nervous. And, I really have no idea how to cook beef. So, I consulted my bible and decided on these little gems. (Side note: I also made chicken ones but just marinaded the chicken cubes in Greek Salad dressing over night). And I'm happy to report that they got eaten up in about 2 seconds! Next time I make them I would cut back on the salt though because they were a bit salty. And I didn't use the vegetables he called for, I kind of just used whatever I had around, I think it was red onions, peppers, zucchini and mushrooms. And I just dusted with with olive oil and sprinkled with salt and pepper.

Then last week I decided to make these lasagna rolls. The bf loves watching Giada at Home or Everyday Italian (I wonder why, right?) and I've had these little guys in the back of my mind ever since I watched her make them. I brought them over to the bf's brother's house for lunch one weekend and everyone seemed to like them. I'm always super nervous when I make things for people that I've never tasted, because duh, I haven't tasted it. But I've lucked out thus far. For this one I didn't lay them flat in the pan like they called for, instead I placed them upright so you could see the filling and I poured the tomato sauce over them. Oh yeah, I didn't have any marinara sauce because my parents used the can I was saving on spaghetti earlier in the week and never realized it. So I just pulled a can of diced tomatoes with garlic and herbs in their own juices. It turned out fine, you wouldn't have noticed and the garlic added extra flavor.

And then lastly, last week, the bf requested my mother's barbecue meatballs. He first tried these at my brother's high school graduation party in June and has been bugging me to make them for him since then. I don't have the recipe on hand, but if you want it you can just email me.

What's on the menu for this week? Well, we were watching GBB and the bf mentioned that he wanted to make beer battered fish. So, my search for a recipe with beer battered fish starts tomorrow. And this time, I promise to take pictures of the process. And feel free to make any suggestions!

P.S. Come back tomorrow for a big announcement! (hehehehehehehehehe)

a delurking of sorts

2009-09-03T10:57:00.000-07:00

the boyfriend tells me last night that he wants to plan a vacation to california this christmas break (although it's more looking like next summer), but that he wants to drive because he's never done it and he hasn't seen most of the western states, besides california.

of course i thought this was a horrendous idea because really? who chooses to drive to california from the midwest?

exactly.

but then i started thinking about all the places that i've never been but would love to visit. like mount rushmore, minneapolis, the mall of america, the hollywood sign and the golden gate bridge. and revisiting places like denver and the rockey mountains, vegas, and the grand canyon. and then i decided that it seemed like a fantastic idea and how much of my own country i haven't seen and would love to see.

so we are kind of (in the process of) planing a road trip across the us. and what i need from you, dear readers, are ideas of places we just have to visit. it could be places that you've been to and absolutely loved, places you wish to visit, places with amazing food a la "diners, drive ins, and dives (because you know i am mapping out food places too...) or whatever the heck you want! just tell me!

everybody understand?

ok, GO!

chillin

2009-08-20T19:46:00.000-07:00

The Girl Behind the Shoes: What do they say about you?

2009-08-11T04:30:00.000-07:00

Hello lovelies! I’m Breanna from Adore Design Studio and bfff’s with my main gal, Amanda (whose real identity is so shrouded with secrecy that even I sometimes get confused as to who she really is…). So anyways, she asked me to do a guest post for today and I happily obliged! I mean, not only do I get to force my tid-bits of creativity and wisdom (in actuality the lack thereof) on my own meager band of followers on a day-to-day basis, but now I get to oppress her loyal readers as well! Win-Win, no?!

So, I settled on a topic that has really been bothering me lately…shoes. I must confess I like shoes. Not excessively, but enough to appreciate. I tend to think of myself as a Gap/J. Crew/Banana Republic kind of understated elegance. Simple. Functional. Beautiful.

And then my confidence came crashing down.

Let’s back up: I recently saw a pair of sandal flats at the store that just begged me to relocate them to my shoe closet (who am I kidding…I don’t have a shoe closet…but for the purpose of this story I now do, ok?…) and I said to myself, “Self- those are too cute and cheap to pass up. Buy them. Buy them now.” And I did.

I wore them to work the next day and all was well. And then the moment of discovery.

A co-worker examined my new purchase and exclaimed, “Wow, those are…cute.” Followed by a quizzical stare. So I said, “Uh, thanks?” To which she quickly replied, “No, they really are cute…I just didn’t think you would wear something like that, that’s all.”

Whhhhaaaattt?????? Does my co-worker have me pegged already? Am I that predicable?

Has my quest for understated sophistication and elegance been interpreted as…gasp… boring and dismissive? Surely not!

Her simple assumption occupied my thoughts all afternoon. What did she know about me that I didn’t? As soon as I got home I did some investigating and this is what I found:

Conclusion: blah.

She was right, damn it. My choice of colors consists mainly of black, white, brown and more black. They are all very safe, boring and wall-flowerish. So what does this mean? Are my shoes the windows to my soles (and yes, that was a carefully thought out pun, please appreciate).

I don’t pretend to know the answer to that question. I’m young, naïve and shallow at this point in my life – at least I have identified this much, right? And I also know I shouldn’t care what people think about me or the path that my decisions lead me to. People grow and evolve constantly. You are not the same person you were yesterday, so you can’t be tied down to anyones perception about you.

So, here is the view from my shoes…do what you want. Yes, lovelies, it is that simple. I don't care what Cosmo mag says your shoes say about you. You are a way too complex human being to be nailed down by your shoe selection. Don’t over-analyze, scrutinize or evaluate silly little situations such as these. I wasted precious time (when I could have been online shopping at lulus, seriously) thinking about what my coworker said to me until I realized who the heck cares! And now I’ve just wasted one hour blogging about this, geez. Ok, I’m done.

Oh, and the passive-aggressive biotch in me bought these smokin’ hot shoes for a wedding I’m going to this weekend…and yes, my coworker will be there. BAHAHAHAHA!

update soon...

2009-08-04T20:33:00.000-07:00

Feedback welcome

2009-08-02T13:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not a cooker. Everyone thinks that I can't do it. But the thing is, I just don't like it. When need be, I can cooked up a tasty meal. I just hate waiting to bring stuff to a boil, or adding eggs one at a time, or searing or simmering or taking 394,575,612,349,576 hours to cook something I'll eat in 15 minutes.

The funny? I love watching The Food Network. No, like I am obsessed with it. I'm not above spending a whole Sunday sitting in my bed watching it. I also want to marry Bobby Flay and Tyler Florence. Yes, both of them.

I have a wonderful boyfriend. He has cooked up many a meals for me during our time together, and he does it well. However, he often likes to mock me for my "inability" to make meals. So, in an effort to prove him incredibly wrong I've taken on the task of preparing him dinner next Saturday.

There are a few problems however. The boyfriend is an extremely picky eater. He refuses to eat anything chicken which I could eat every meal everyday for the rest of my life. I'm not a big red meat eater and he likes burgers and steak. He is a big fish eater and didn't grow up eating fish or really thinking about fish at all so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do with it. Plus the smells makes me physically sick.

So what's a girl to do? I thought about it for a little bit this morning and watched a little FN (Food Network, get with it) and searching foodnetwork.com and I've come on with three choices.

Which is where you come in. Out of the three choices you tell me which one sounds better to you! Ok?

Ok.

I've decided to do a steak dinner and here are my three choices:

1 - Pepper crusted tenderloin with a mushroom cream sauce.
2 - Grilled flat iron steak with pistachio pesto butter
3 - Grilled flank steak with a gorgonzola cream sauce

I'm going to pair one of those steaks with grilled asparagus and roasted garlic mashed potatoes.

Now, go! Vote!

This definitely does not make me look awesome

2009-07-29T19:01:00.000-07:00

Between the boyfriend and myself:

Me (in my most whiney/pouty/annoying/sarcastic voice): "Man, I really want to go to the Harry Potter Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry but my boyfriend won't go with me so I have to go by myself and be all alone"

The Boyfriend: "Um, that's because your boyfriend isn't a moron". (Turning to look at me and smile). "I know this is a new concept for you...."

And the thing is...

he's totally right.

And introduction of sorts

2009-07-29T15:06:00.000-07:00

You'd think that after having three previous blogs I'd be a pro at this first post. Or at least know how to start this stuff out. But turns out? Not a fan. It's the first impression readers get. What if you aren't witty or entertaining enough? What if you bore readers away? And for someone who already has slight (or intense, WHATEVE) social anxiety as it is, it could be just a little overwhelming.

But it's got to happen. So I guess I'll start from the beginning, huh?

I started out my first blog way back when. Like so far back I used livejournal. (Yeah, I know.) I had just started this whole blog thing out so I wasn't following anyone yet. But as I started to find other blogs that I found entertaining and interesting I started to realist that all the cool kids were using bloggers. So I made the transition.

Then I made my first blogger blog. I don't even remember what my address was called anymore. (It's kind of frustrating now that I think about it because I wrote A LOT back then and it would be nice to have those memories documented, sigh.) Long story short, some drama happened while I was gallivanting across Europe 2007-2008. You see, I was a teaching 4 and 5 year olds that year while I took a year off college. My cousin had gotten married the same month I left and I had some pictures of us at her bachelorette party. Turns out this girl that I thought was my friend (boy was I wrong...) turned in the pictures to my boss because I was "danger to children" and "far to sexual". I was fired after less than a week of working. Did I mention that I had moved to London from the Midwest? Yeah, talk about a major panic attack.... Anyways, apparently it was what they called a "misunderstanding" or some nonsense. Whatever, I didn't get fired, I had the time of my life, and whoever really did send those pictures can die a long, painful death...

Moving on.

Needless to say, I was forced to delete that one. But started a new one. Because I'm not exactly the kind of person to not do something I'm told not to do. So, I made another blogger blog. My third blog. Some of you may or may not remember me. I made a few friends, and it was nice. But then I made a few changes in my life and took a few new corners and I just kind of wanted to start over in the blogging world because I kind of felt like I was starting over in my real life (And a lot of people whom I didn't necessarily know were reading it were actually reading it and some people whom I didn't want to read it were reading it.). Also, I felt myself censoring the information I wanted to share. And what's the point of even having a blog if you aren't going to fully be yourself? Am I right?

Which brings me here, "The New Adventures of the Same Amanda". Because these are the new adventures of the same me! Clever, no? I think so. Anyways, I'll be sharing my musings of things that happen between the bf and me, my attempts at becoming the next Foodnetwork star, and getting myself through graduate school without completely losing my mind. And everything inbetween.

Hopefully you've stuck around and finished reading. Hopefully you'll continue sticking around. But you can't say I didn't warn you, I'm not good with the introductions. But trust me, I've got good things cooked up. Like my demon posessed razor, my love for Bobby Flay, and the time I ran into the garage with my car (no judgement).

-a